Marriage is huge and definitely, there are types of guys you shouldn’t marry. We all get giddy at the thought of it, especially when it can be with someone we love. However, there are guys out there that you want to avoid putting a ring on. These are some of the guys I think you should steer clear of, however, not everything is black and white. Always do plenty of soul-searching before making a commitment either way.
Let’s see what are the 12 types of guys you shouldn’t marry and should avoid!
The guy that still lives with his parents.
His room is still intact. Most guys his age have roommates that they don’t call “mom” or “dad” unless they’re into that. This is an increasing trend in the US. As the student debt climbs, a lot of people move back home with their parents to pay down the debt. However, this should last a maximum of one to two years. A guy who cannot be financially independent is a guy you don’t want to be with. Worse, a guy who cannot handle doing his own laundry, cooking for himself, and cleaning on his own terms is definitely a guy you don’t want to marry and be with for the rest of your life.
The guy that you started dating right after your last break-up.
I know. Your defenses just went WAY up. Because what do I know? I haven’t been there from the beginning. I don’t know your story. I don’t know him. That’s all true, so taking this with a grain of salt as it may strike a chord.
If you began dating right after your last break-up (read: 2 months or less in most cases), then you haven’t given yourself enough time. Enough time to be single. Enough time to discover you. Enough time to digest heartache. Your last break-up could have been years ago, but that doesn’t change the situation. You need to do some serious soul-searching before making a commitment like marriage.
The guy that has never had a break-up.
I.e. this is his first “real” relationship. No, that pity kiss on the playground from 4th grade doesn’t count. Ideally, you aren’t his first long-term relationship. I know; it sounds backward, but being last is a million times better than being first. First relationships are tricky because you have no comparison or experience. That’s not to say that you’re not wonderful and glorious, but rather, guard your heart. Are you sure he wants marriage with you or just marriage? Dwell on it before deciding.
The guy that thinks feminism is a man-hating, political trend.
Oy, sometimes men have the most fragile egos. Feminism is not a personal attack on men. It’s actually an invitation. However, I would take note of what he gets defensive about. If women having more power means he gets none, that is a huge indicator of what you’ll be facing in the long run. Run the other direction, girl, even if it hurts. We’ll be here for you.
The guy that rolls his eyes at anything you do.
It’s called “patronizing” and it’s no bueno. I’m the queen of eye rolling. Usually, I put on that tiara when I think something is “stupid”, “inferior”, “dumb”, whatever my haughty little ego thinks. And we all put that tiara on sometimes. However, I’m talking about the times when that tiara comes on when it shouldn’t be there. For example, you get really stoked about something minor (i.e. new episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, even though you swear you hardly ever watch it). Another example is getting an eye roll when you’re genuinely upset about a situation. Don’t commit to mediocrity.
The guy that keeps tabs on everything.
Now, this is different than actually caring about you and what you’re doing. That’s called “having an interest”. This is “having an interest” on steroids with a compulsive need to control your wild, bad self. It’s texting all the time to see what you’re up to and who you’re with. It’s getting defensive when you mention another guy in your weekend expedition with all your friends. It’s consistently bringing up your male coworkers when, um hellooo, you weren’t even remotely talking about them. Get the picture? Stellar.
The guy you don’t want to let go of because it’s him or cats.
Love yourself enough to be alone and okay then with someone and miserable. Here’s the fact: It may be 10 years from now and you find an ah-maz-ing man. There are two ways this story will end: either you marry the amazing guy 10 years later after diligence patience and mastering the art of eye shadow blending or you wish you had the patience as you walk away with your mediocre husband and that f-up marriage. Brutal.
The guy that has attitude problems.
This is the guy that makes you feel prepared for kids. Not supported, prepared. As in, you feel like you’ve already had your taste of motherhood, but you can’t decide if you’re dealing with a teenager or a toddler in their “terrible twos”. We all get moody. We all have moments where we can use an attitude adjustment. That’s just human. However, if you find most of your “conversations” ending in a huff after non-stop whining, reconsider.
The guy you would never leave alone in a bar.
I think that thought is a statement all on its own, no explanation is needed. If you can’t trust your man alone in a bar, then you can’t trust him. Period. A relationship without trust is just two people who hang out sometimes. Don’t marry into that.
The guy that is waiting for the perfect job.
We all have dream jobs and aspirations. I hope and pray that your dream guy has plenty of them! However, there seems to be a sickness that all people from our generation have been catching at one point or another (I know I have at times). That sickness is this incessant need to find the perfect job, which usually results in a) not having a job until you find “the one” or b) jumping from job to job trying to find “the one”. Neither lends itself to stability. Stay away from the delusion, the sickness, and it’s one of the guys you shouldn’t marry.
The guy that never graduated.
I don’t mean the guy that never graduated high school or college. My grandfather never graduated high school and he’s the World’s, Greatest Man. I mean the guy that keeps getting degrees. He goes from undergraduate to Masters’s to Ph.D. to law school to med school. Soon, he’s hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt without a day of working experience. This is a guy that can’t commit. If he can’t commit to adulthood (aka, getting out there and just effing working), then he can’t commit to you. Move on.
The guy that gossips more than Entertainment Tonight.
We know these people. Part of us loves these people because we love to feel “in the know”. The other part of us never wants to be these people. And a bigger part of us wonders what these people say about us when we’re not around. However, the last point is an important one to take note of. If your guy always has the latest gossip and loves sharing it, how much of the gossip he’s taking back is about your relationship? A person who gossips lacks respect for the people involved. Question the motives.